"It's dark and foggy, but a very comfortable temperature. I'm outside, on a bridge, with dark railing. I can hear trees blowing in the wind, but there is no indication of wind touching my body. Not even a playful breeze. There is only one light that I can see, illuminating the center of the bridge. Standing there, motionless, is her. She is doing nothing, looking nowhere. I love her so much. She is my wife.
I find myself standing half way in between the center of the bridge and a thick fog. Gray and unknown, joyous and full of potential. I find comfort in the unknown and infinite possiblities the fog brings.
I look back at my surreal wife. I feel happiness, pity, and sadness. I feel unfulfilled with her. I will miss her, the predicibility of life with her, and the unconditional love she gives. I'm looking for something more. Something I can't find in her.
As my decision comes to mind and I turn away from her. Each step more miserable then the other as I get closer to the unknown, not becuase of the fog, but because i'm leaving her alone. I find myself thinking why It didn't work. Why I couldn't find what I was longing for; a connection, warmth, and a healthy realtionship for the soul.
I replay the countless nights we don't talk to eachother, spend time with eachother, or cuddle with eachother. Thoughts of her alone, dogs laying with her, giving them affection, fills me wth sadness.
Why doesn't this work! I jam this question into my head. Calculating, formulating, anaylizing all the reasons it's not working. I cant understand what is wrong with her. Why doesn't it work!
In my state of pity, she suddenly falls ill. I can't leave her like this. I want to be there for her. I want to be her everything. I freeze.
*Click*
I begin to fight myself, forcing my ego aside, my greed and control.
I open my eyes, finding myself in bed. I feel her behind me, breathing softly. She is facing me, but I am not facing her. It's so hard to make that first step. I hesitate many times, and begin to turn. Slowly, carefully, full of pity, I close the distance between us.
She wakes, positioning herself for me to get closer. I begin to hold her as she says tiredly, "I love you."
*Click*
Oh what a wonderful feeling! To feel so tender and exposed! Uplifted and truely connected! I feel more then content."
